Marriage is one of the biggest commitments you can make, and while love is essential, it’s not the only factor that determines long-term success. A strong marriage is built on more than feelings — it requires shared values, open communication, and a willingness to grow together through life’s changes.
Whether you’re recently engaged or considering taking the next step, here are ten things to know before getting married.
1. Communication Styles Matter
How you and your partner communicate will shape how you handle conflict, make decisions, and show support. Take time to understand each other’s communication habits. Are you direct or indirect? Do you need time to process emotions or prefer to resolve issues immediately?
Learning to communicate with empathy and patience is essential for navigating both the highs and lows of married life.
2. Love Alone Is Not Enough
Love is the foundation, but it can’t carry a marriage on its own. Respect, trust, shared goals, and day-to-day compatibility all matter just as much. Ask yourselves how you handle stress, how you manage responsibilities, and how you work together as a team.
3. Financial Compatibility Shouldn’t Be Ignored
Money can be a major source of conflict in marriage. Before tying the knot, discuss your financial habits, income, debt, savings goals, and how you plan to manage money as a couple. Will you merge finances or keep separate accounts? How will you budget or handle unexpected expenses?
Honest conversations about money help prevent misunderstandings later.
4. Your Families Will Have an Influence
Even if you’re building a life of your own, families can still impact your marriage — emotionally, culturally, and logistically. Talk about boundaries, holidays, future caregiving roles, and how involved extended family will be in your lives.
Being on the same page about family dynamics can reduce stress and resentment down the road.
5. Conflict Is Inevitable. How You Handle It Matters
All couples argue. What matters is how you argue. Do you fight fair? Do you listen as much as you speak? Are you able to apologize and forgive?
Healthy conflict resolution is a skill, and the earlier you develop it together, the more resilient your relationship will be.
6. Intimacy Will Evolve
Physical and emotional intimacy may shift over time due to stress, health, career demands, or parenting. Expect those changes and stay open about your needs. Maintaining connection requires intentional effort, especially in long-term relationships.
Don’t assume things will stay the same without effort and attention.
7. Life Plans Should Be Discussed in Advance
Before getting married, talk honestly about your long-term goals. Do you want children? Where do you want to live? Are there career ambitions that may impact the relationship?
Disagreements on major life goals can create lasting conflict if not addressed early.
8. You’re Marrying the Present and Future Version of Each Other
People change over time. What draws you together now might evolve — and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to stay the same, but to grow in the same direction. Choose someone who is committed to growing with you, not someone who expects everything to stay exactly as it is.
9. Marriage Is a Daily Choice
Marriage isn’t something you set and forget. It’s a relationship that requires regular care, whether through small acts of kindness, shared routines, or difficult conversations. Choosing each other every day builds trust and deepens your bond over time.
10. Premarital Counseling Can Help
You don’t need to have problems to benefit from counseling. A few sessions with a counselor can help you explore your values, communication patterns, conflict styles, and expectations for marriage. It’s a proactive way to strengthen your relationship and prepare for the realities of married life.
Getting married is exciting, but it’s also a serious commitment that deserves careful thought. The more honest, curious, and prepared you are before saying “I do,” the stronger your foundation will be. Love should never be blind it should be informed, intentional, and supported by mutual respect and understanding.
